


My Heart is a Ghost Town

by NireYllek



Category: Final Fantasy XV, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, LITERALLY, M/M, Sad Sora, chocobros to the rescue, hurting sora, mending his broken heart, my take on the ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2019-12-25 08:57:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18258008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NireYllek/pseuds/NireYllek
Summary: With every heart that leaves Sora he starts to feel more and more empty.In his final effort to feel like a hero he ends up losing himself.His heart falls, endlessly looping through worlds he seen... and never seen before.Until he finally stops on a lone stretch of road in the middle of the night.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So this is my first Kingdom Hearts pic so please be gentle.
> 
> This is my defiantly-not-canon-but-normora-can-call-me-if-he's-into-it ending of Kingdom Hearts 3.
> 
> I felt a serve lack of Final Fantasy characters and decided to mend that with this, so bare with me for some Sora angst and reflection.
> 
> (I'm also half ass attempting a Sinbad / Kingdom Hearts AU fic?)
> 
> Please Enjoy...

I watched Aqua hug Ventus close. Vanitas had just left and the violent tension in the air was gone – replaced with pure honest joy. Ventus met Aqua’s hug with his own. The two of them stood there laughing and talked quietly to themselves.

In soft awe I watch them as the pain in my chest lessens, from when Ventus burst free.

I look at Ventus and I see a trained keyblade wielder. He slept all these years far away from fighting … far away from his friends. But I think in a way he was fighting through  _ me  _ all this time.

The moment he woke I felt like dying, half empty and in pain. It was weird, like all my drive and focus had left me –  _ draining back to him _ .

…

When we made it back to Yen Sid’s tower to regroup with the others I felt out of place. Standing tall together was a room full of experienced masters and wielders. Axel was already over confident in his abilities, Kairi seemed ready to go, Donald and Goofy kept up their fearless determination, and I was trying to resist the urge to sit. I was so tired.

There was a lot said, a few jabs at my expense, and we all decided to meet Xehanort on the field of the Keyblade Graveyard, ready for war.

After our heavy deliberation everyone broke from our meeting to talk. The good fairies had brought in food and refreshments and we all dug in, especially Ven who hadn’t eaten in years. I stood awkwardly next to Riku, a glass of cider in my hand. I had mixed in a healing potion when no one was looking because I still felt wrong. It wasn’t helping. 

I swirled the cup of cider and watched it’s content’s spin.  _ Why do I feel inferior all of a sudden? Like none of what I did matters now that Ven and Aqua are here. I feel like I just got benched. _

I side eye Riku as he laughs with Mickey at something Donald said.

Donald and Goofy were telling the King about our journey - specifically Goofy’s favorite world, Toy Box is what we called it. Donald immediately brought up how our friends Buzz and Woody greeted us and I knew where this conversation was going.

“We landed in a world inhabited by sentient toys! They thought we were action figures from a game in their world!” Donald shrieked bouncing up and down as he described how we won over Buzz’s skepticism and with Woody’s help we won our fights in the toy store.

“Hyuck! You’re forgetting the best part.” Goofy chimed in waging a finger to hush Donald. “We took a picture in front of the poster for the game they we talkin bout. Sora, go on and show the King!”

I turned a light shade of pink.  _ The poster, oh no, that stupid poster.  _ I must have pulled a face because Donald nudged my arm and laughed.

“Sora come on, you said it yourself – you couldn’t be from that game because – AND I QUOTE -  _ I never looked  _ **_that_ ** _ good!” _

I wanted to slap Donald upside his chuckling head. 

“So the game’s character is good looking?” Riku leaned forward a little to catch my gaze. “Is that the joke? Let’s see this poster then.” 

_ Forget fighting Xehanort, I’m going to die right here. _

I almost dropped my gummi phone as I took it out from my pocket. Opening the picture app I flipped through countless silly photos before landing on the selfie I took with the Verum Rex poster.

I held out my phone so the King could see, and I turned my face away from theirs toward the ceiling in shame. 

In the picture I have my hand out like I’m picking Yozora up by his shoulder.

“Ho ho!” I heard Mickey laugh, “You’re right that doesn’t look anything like Sora! If anything it looks oddly like Riku!”

I felt someone take the phone out of my hand and turned to see Riku confused holding the phone closer to his face; he was zooming in and out.

“He does kinda look like me…” He nodded his head and glanced at me with a teasing look in his eyes before handing me back my gummi phone. “Besides, red and blue eyes we could pass for the same person.”

“Hehe yeah ha, you could, couldn’t you?” I nervously tried to close the app but someone just snatched it from my hands. It hovered above my head in a black-gloved grip. 

“Riku could pull off this look no problem, I can totally see the resemblance.” Axel smirked and showed Kairi who was now suddenly next to him eager to see as well.

She clapped her hands together, “Oh wow! Riku you’re a video game character, that’s so wild! This guy is  _ pretty  _ handsome – good eye Sora.”

And with that Axel dropped my phone back into my hands, and he and Kairi turned to talk to Aqua and Ven. 

“Uh huh…” I stuttered. I could feel my skin getting hotter. I took a step back looking at the floor as I tuck my phone slowly back into my pocket.

“Well I’m a little beat from today, so I think I’ll rest up before we head out.” I turn to face the exit, “See you guys!” I wave a defeated hand in the air as I open the office door. Before it shut I could hear Donald say in a not-so-hushed-voice, “He gets so flustered sometimes.”

…

I mindlessly walk down the tower steps to a random floor. I made it to the spare room Riku and I shared during our Mark of Mastery exam. I quietly shut the door behind me and climb on top of the bed to get to the bay window that over looks the strange courtyard of Yen Sid’s tower. 

Folding my arms over the windowpane I watch the sky. A few green and blue stars twinkle in the night’s foggy expanse. There are so many worlds out there, so many in space and time to explore. It feels like I’ve seen it all… and yet there is still too much left untouched. 

_ So much to prepare for in so little time…can we really do this? Is this really happening? _

One of the bigger stars in the sky twinkles and I am brought back from my thoughts with the sound of a conversation below me. Outside Aqua and Ven walk silently in the night. They smile and look up at the stars.  _ I wonder how Ven’s feeling? _

I can still feel the emptiness where he used to sleep in my heart. I thought it would stop hurting, but this dull aching hasn’t gone away. If I concentrate on it I can feel my body begin to get heavy and this emotionless void leaves me zoning out. 

Without him there I don’t know what to feel in his place. I close my eyes and try to remember the last honest emotion I felt.

_ Embarrassment _ . That’s a very normal emotion for me. I can’t escape people pointing their fingers and laughing at my expense. I think harder and harder until the ache in my chest has moved to my head and I’m dizzy with sleep. 

I know I’ve been happy and angry and sad, but for some reason I can’t look back at a memory of me laughing and understand it.

So I fall asleep.

…

It’s late in the night when I feel the bed dip with the weight of someone sitting on the edge. I had fallen asleep on the windowpane and there is a little drool on my arm. I lazily wipe the corner of mouth and rub my eyes. 

“What time is it?” I ask the person beside me. 

They start to untie my shoes; I guess I never took them off. “It’s late. Really r _ eally  _ late…” says Riku sounding exhausted and drained. I smile to myself still masked in sleep, “That’s what you get for being a socialite.”

“You’re usually the social one.” He counters back, a little worry in his voice.

My shoes are tossed onto the floor and I see him starting to untie his own boots. “Why didn’t you stay and talk? You haven’t seen Kairi in week, and Aqua looked like she had something to say to you the whole night.”

Now shoeless, Riku removes his jacket and tosses it toward a desk chair close to the bed. He turns to look at me with his hand out. I sleepily hold it and look at him confused. He shakes his head with a smile and takes back his hand to grab at my own jacket. 

“Oh …” I say weakly as my jacket is tossed on the same chair.

“Sora,” Riku’s voice is quieter now, but holds a tone of seriousness. I feel goose bumps on my bare arms. He’s looking directly at me; blue eyes a glow in the light of the moon behind me. “You seemed out of it earlier. It felt like something happened when you came back with Ventus and Aqua. Is something wrong?”

_ Besides the gapping empty feeling in my heart, yeah everything’s fine.  _ I laughed at my own thoughts. 

Riku is looking at me with honest concern;  _ okay this isn’t funny to him. _

I blink the sleep out of my eyes and open my mouth to try and say something. But I don’t know what to say. Usually I’ll just let people know what’s on mind weather I meant to or not. But right now I don’t even know what’s wrong with me and I don’t want that to worry the others before our big battle.

I’m always the positive one – people rely on me to pull them out of their bad funks. I’ve never really been in a funk though. 

I close my mouth and look down at my hands. Am I in a funk right now?

I never stopped to ask myself if I was okay. I’ve plowed my way through countless heartless, rescued princesses, fought nightmarish evils… but as of late I haven’t felt all that powerful.

“I’m fine, Riku.” I look up at him with a smile. “I was just exhausted when we got back – and then Donald had to be annoying – and I was just tired.” I held my hands up behind my head and lean back against the windowpane. 

Riku didn’t look convinced, “Just tired huh?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah!” I threw myself forward getting in his face; “I would tell you if something was up, don’t I always?”

Riku’s worried expression broke with a smirk, “You do, but sometimes it takes you awhile to figure out what’s wrong.” He tussled my hair aggressively bringing me in for a chokehold.

I look up at him grinning, “Then wait a bit and I’ll tell you when I figure it out.” 

“Okay, but don’t take to long.” Riku’s smirk softened into a smile.

I rolled my eyes and collapsed face first into one of the bed’s pillows. I weakly muffled through the pillow, “Can I just get back to sleep? We have a war to win in the morning.” I could hear Riku laugh and felt him shift to take the pillow next to me.

I lay there a little tense until Riku finally drifts to sleep. Rolling over I look at his face. He’s breathing slowly; dreaming peacefully. I reach out to move his bangs and lean into kiss his forehead. 

Whispering into his hair I tell him, “I’m okay. I’ll vent to you after this is all over.” 

Smiling to myself, I keep my hand in his hair, “Goodnight, Riku.”

…

I never got to tell him what was wrong. I’m such an idiot.

  
  



	2. Hitch Hiker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey bare with me - I need to get my endgame feelings out.
> 
> Seriously though, Nomura, if you're interested - hit me up. 
> 
> Please enjoy.

We didn’t stand a chance. It was like Xehanort knew what was going to happen.

 

Like he planned for us to fail.

 

I watch as each of my friends are swept away by the growing darkness, until the only ones left are me and Riku. The mass of darkness pulses and sways, growing larger.

 

My heart pounds, it’s so loud it drowns out all other sounds until the only thing I can hear and feel is the panicked shaking of it beating in my chest.

 

_I can’t do this_ \- I grip the sides of head - _not without them_.

 

A painful scream rips from my lungs, and I fall to my knees. _I’d rather just die with them_ , I want to shut the world out. _I want to fix this_ , but I don’t know how. Through the pulsing in my ears I hear boots on gravel, Riku races to my side. He calls my name, concern striking every syllable.

 

I remain on my knees in a crumpled heap. “There gone…” I sob trying to get up, but I can’t feel my legs. “Kairi, Donald, Goofy, the King … gone forever.”

 

I look up at Riku tears running down my cheeks, “What do we do?” I shudder as my arms try to keep me up.

 

_I’m pathetic_ ; I can’t stop crying. Riku struggles to not to look as lost as I feel. Closing my eyes I face the dirt again, I don’t want him to watch me cry. “Riku... without them I - all my strength came from them. They gave me all of it.” I try to breathe steady. It was true. _I’m nothing without their help_.

 

“Alone, I’m worthless.” A few more tears slip from my eyes staining the desert sand. “We’ve lost. It’s over.” I can’t control the tears now.

 

Riku hovers for a moment before slowly standing up, “Sora. You don’t believe that.” His voice gravely serious. “I know you don’t.”

 

He walks slow and deliberate towards the oncoming horde of heartless. I lift my head and watch him ready his keyblade. My legs are jelly I can’t do anything, even now. _What’s wrong with me?_

 

Riku plunges his keyblade into the dark horde and screams. It’s taking all the strength he has just to stand his ground and resist them. _I can’t watch you die Riku_ , I reach out and try to say something - anything. My throat feels like it’s closed up and Riku starts to blur in the mess of my tears.

 

In a colorful haze he’s overtaken by darkness and the horde comes for me.

 

_Darkness prevailed, and light expired._

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

I open my eyes and see and endless expanse of blue sky.

I thought I was going to meet my maker or, at the very least, see the rest of my friends in the after life… but none of them are here. _I’m alone_.

 

“Can’t stay away, now, can you? ”

A bright light flitters and floats down from the sky and in a flash a small voice introduces itself and I look down to see a … cat? It’s so cute, is it a dream eater? They call themself Chirithy and tell me that I’m in a place called the Final World.

Chirithy says I’ve been here before, plenty of times through my dreams. It’s easy to slip into this realm when sleeping because the realms dreams and death often mix – it sounds like something Master Yen Sid taught me.

_Huh… I must have come here through the Station of Awakening._

Chirithy also explains I can’t just wander out this time. They lift their little arms and gesture to my whole body. I look at my hands and panic. I’m terrifyingly transparent and glowing blue; I don’t just look dead, I am dead. Chirithy curiously points out that _something_ was keeping me tied to life, and that my body and heart came here together - that’s why I retained my appearance.

 

If that was the case then maybe the others went through the same thing? But Chirithy says they haven’t seen them. They explain that if my friends weren’t here they were either gone forever… or clinging to the lives they had in our world.

 

“Then I need to go right now! I need to find them!” I materialize my keyblade and turn to leave.

 

Chirithy yells at me, waving it’s little arms in the air. “ No no no! In order to leave you need to gather the rest of yourself so you can be whole again. Only when you are truly yourself can you leave and make it back to your world.”

 

“The rest of myself?” I sound more than a little confused. Chirithy points behind me and I turn around. Suddenly I’m face to face with a solid, normal version of me. It walks past me as if I’m not even here, which I guess is kinda true.

 

“You’ll need to collect all of yourself before you can become whole again.” Chirithy giggles, and in glow of light, they vanish.

 

...

Here in the Final World it’s just endless sky reflected on a thin layer of water. Honestly, it makes me feel at peace. Every step I take makes a small ripple in the water, the sound is soothing. If it wasn’t for the vast emptiness, I might want to stay.

 

For as beautiful and calm as this place feels, there is nothing for as far as the eye can see. Nothing except fragments of myself wandering around like oblivious ghosts.

I tap one on the shoulder and he dissolves back into me. Very _very_ weird. But I continue to collect the rest of myself, it’s a little tricky because they don’t stop moving. But at least they’re only walking.

 

The more I collect the more feeling returns to my “body”. I didn’t realize until after I had collected more than twenty of my selves, but as a ghost I couldn’t feel the water splash beneath my feet, I couldn’t smell the familiar sea salt in the air, I couldn't sense anything - almost like my whole body was numb. I could hear and see, but that was it. _I’m glad I didn’t have to stay like that for too long or I would have gone crazy._

 

I try to run into a few if me all at once and end up passing through something warm and glittering. It gives me goosebumps.

 

I quickly turn around to see what it was. Floating there, inches above the water, is a cluster of light forming a star. I lean in to look at the crystalline shards and hear a voice. It’s faint, so I get closer until my face is almost touching the glowing specks.

 

“One of the lines said by the stars” It sounds like someone trying to remember something, but they way it sounds is so... sad.

 

“Hello?” I try to get it’s attention, “I’m Sora. What’s your name?” It doesn’t respond. It just loops again talking and reminiscing about people they remember and things they used to do.

 

The warm light and feeling I get from it is so familiar. I put a hand to my chest and still my breathing… _is this someone’s heart?_ It’s shattered, and all the pieces floating around it are in an ornamental mess.

 

Whoever this was they still shine with light, how did I not see them? I take a quick look around and still see plenty of me’s walking aimlessly in all directions. But… now that I focus there are more of these clusters floating around too.

 

All of these lost hearts made it to the Final World, but they haven’t retained their appearance like I have. Some of them whisper things, some of them boast proudly to no one, they all talk about their memories .

It doesn’t seem like they can hear me. Maybe they lost all their senses and can’t get them back? I feel bad not being able to help them – I wonder who they are or were, it’s hard to know if I’ve met them before from just their vague whispers.

There is one that seems a bit brighter, more put together than the rest. I approach it slowly not knowing if I should try to engage - it’s not talking to itself like the others.

“Hello?” It asks in a soft voice, a feminine voice. “Is someone there?” I’ve heard that voice before.

“Namine!” I exclaim and rush over to her side. Her cluster flickers and glows as she explains to me how she got separated from Kairi’s heart and somehow ended up here.

I feel my breath hitch and I’m frozen in fear – I haven't caught all my pieces yet, but I don’t feel Roxas or the other heart with me any more… _could they be here and I just can’t recognize them_?

I try to sound heroic and tell Namine not to worry, that I’ll fix this. I promise her that I’ll see her other soon. Her heart shards spin and twinkle, I can feel her smile as she wishes me good luck.

_Thanks Namine, I’m gonna need it._

 

I collect a few more fragments of me and accidentally walk though another heart cluster. I stutter a quiet apology, sure that lost heart can’t hear me.

 

“It’s okay! I’m fine.” The heart responds surprisingly joyful.

 

I decide to sit and chat with them and they tell me a secret that I promise to keep.Whoever this person is, they’re so positive and bright they don’t care about not being whole. They’re so full of hope, it makes me feel a little less sad about this place.

 

And yet, can I even rescue any them? Would it be wrong to try? I don’t know what brought them to the Final World or how long some of them have been here.

 

I can’t help but feel a little guilty.

 

...

After body slamming into over a hundred me’s I’m finally whole again. I should be happy about it but I end up feeling like I still have a few pieces missing.

 

Chirithy cheers at my full recovery, but evidently is a little worried – they tell me that if my goal is to save the rest of my fallen friends I’ll be hurting myself in the process.

_I don’t care about what happens to me, as long as I can help them._

 

My throat goes dry and I can vividly recall them being taken by the darkness. My eyes sting and I wince a little feeling a headache coming on. A hollow feeling starts to rapidly engulf my chest. I place a hand over my heart and close my eyes.

 

I’m whole again, but Roxas isn’t with me. I don’t feel his restless energy anymore; and I don’t feel the other heart’s pulse either. They must be here - somewhere in the clusters – trapped like Namine.

It’s not like when Ven left – it feels worse. I feel like a vase that was thrown against the floor. I put myself back together but the missing pieces leave me unstable - I feel like I’ll fall apart again at any moment.

 

Ven had so much drive and determination to fight. While Roxas was filled with love and compassion. It’s weird how I know that but I could just feel it when they were with me. Ven was using me to heal himself, but even though he was so weak he was always ready to offer a mysterious boost of energy when I needed it.

 

Roxas willingly let himself become apart of me, yet he yearned to see and talk with his own friends again. All those fond memories filled me with an abundance of love.

But they’re gone now and my heart has never felt so... dead.

The pulse of the mystery heart worries me even more. Not knowing who that person is or was makes me feel like I’ve just lost something very important.

 

Somewhere out there I can feel them, and my friends. I want to be together with everyone again. It’s a selfish thought but… I almost wish Ven and Roxas hadn’t left me. I wish I never knew about the other heart - it’s only making me anxious and worried. I wish things didn’t have to turn out like this. I clutch at my jacket over the place my heart aches.

“Their hearts will be my guiding key.” I say out loud catching Chirity off guard. There’s one I know I can do: throw myself blindly into danger and hope for the best.

 

I kneel down to where Chirithy is standing. “Sorry, I’m just excited to see my friends again.”

 

Chirithy looks down at it’s reflection in the water. “Must be nice.” They mutter almost to quiet for me to hear.

 

“Hey Chirithy,” I tap them on the shoulder and they look up startled, “You’re pretty solid yourself. Do you want me to help you find the rest of _your_ pieces?” I stand up and take another look around to see if I can find another little adorable cat in a cape running around.

 

Chirithy laughs and shakes their head, “No, I don’t work like that.”

 

I tilt my head and think, “Then are you waiting for someone to rescue you?”

 

“Something like that?” They look sadly at their reflection again. “He doesn’t remember me right now... he hasn’t remembered me in a long time.” For some reason I feel like I should know who their talking about.

 

“But I can wait. He has new friends to be with. I can wait a little longer till I see him again.” Chirithy looks up and smiles at me.

 

I can’t help it I love this little guy. I kneel once more a little closer this time, “Then I’ll come and visit you!”

 

“What?!” Chirithy hops up in surprise.

 

“You’re my friend now - and I never abandon my friends.” I smile as Chirithy wiggles around excitedly.

 

“Wow a friend. Thank you, Sora. I hope you make it back safe.” I rub my nose and give them a nod. Standing up I feel a little more confident.

I turn away from Chirithy and fix my gaze on the water in front of me. The Final World is just that, the final place where our hearts come to rest. From what I remember from my Mark of Mastery exam this place is accessible through the Realm Between or the Unchained Realm, kind of like purgatory. That Realm is the darkness beyond a heart’s Station of Awakening, the stain glass circle I wander to constantly in my dreams.

I woke Ven not long ago, I know what to do – I just have to listen to my friends’ hearts and follow their light through the Power of Waking.

Simple right?

There’s hesitation in my thoughts as I materialize my keyblade. _Why didn’t Mickey do this to find Aqua, Ven, and Terra?_

I open a path to the Unchained Realm. _How do you even use the Power of Waking wrong?_

Through the path my keyblade made I can see into the dark abyss of the Unchained Realm. The heart stations of my friends float there – slowly being absorbed by darkness. _There’s no time to think about consequences – I’ll deal with that later, I always do._

…

 

I free fall through the abyss. I can’t see anything beyond the endless dark and for a second I think I’m lost. _If I passed the stations completely would I fall through this place forever?_ I shake those thoughts away and close my eyes. It doesn’t help the panic slowly building but I try and focus on one heart. If I can just connect to someone it’ll be okay…

 

_...S...ora…?_

 

“RIKU!” I suddenly shout and my eyes fly open. A bright light pierces the darkness and I feel safe in it’s glow. I call out again, “Riku! Answer me!”

 

I reach for the light as it grows closer - _I’m on my way_.

 

I’m at the top of Mount Olympus - Riku must have been trying to cling to our world but got lost. At least he found somewhere stable to stay.

 

I wander in through the tall golden gates - my gaze never lingering to long on one place - _what am I supposed to be looking for? I know he’s here I can feel him._

 

There a tight pain in my chest when I see it - Riku’s transparent form floating there lifeless. He’s high atop a torch pedestal all I have to do is climb up and -   **something else is here**.

 

**Something bad.**

 

Before I can get closer a black mass of chains bursts into reality and with a clawed hand snatches Riku’s heart out of the air and into it’s tattered robes.

 

_That’s it._ With all the speed I can muster I sprint toward the monster and raise my keyblade. In a matter of minutes it’s on the ground dropping Riku’s heart and making a break for it through a portal to the Unchained Realm.

 

I kneel down and carefully pick up Riku’s heart. It doesn’t touch my hands, it merely floats in my loose hold. I’ve seen plenty of hearts in my adventures, but I’ve never actually gotten this close to one. _It’s beautiful._

 

Like a large gem it glitters and shines. On the hard cut edges I can see something moving. It’s me, when I was maybe 6, on the beach of Destiny Island. The sky is filled with stars and I’m sitting in awe as someone points to a random constellation. The heart spins in my hands and a new face glides across the surface. It’s Kairi, she so little here. She’s sneaking up behind me while I nap under a tree. She used to scare me awake when we were kids, especially if I fell asleep outside.

 

The heart spins again and this time I see myself much older - clinging to a black coat sleeve crying. I remember this moment but not from this angle. This was Riku’s view of me when I finally found him in the lair of Organization XIII. I look like a mess, but I was so happy.

 

I bring his heart close to my chest, “I found you again, Riku.” His heart glows with a calming warmth. “Now... wake up, I’ll see you soon. ”

 

Riku’s heart floats up it the air and over my head. It spins in a blur of memories before sparking and shooting off.

 

_One down_ … I turn to look at the portal the monster made in it’s escape, _six more to go._

 

Using my friend hearts as a guide I am taken to worlds I have visited before. It seems like their hearts have been scattered across all time and space; clinging to the waking worlds and trying to resist the pull towards death.

 

I fight off the lich and wake them one by one – setting things right.

 

“See you soon Axel.” I watch as his heart soars in to sky. Fighting the lich in San Fransokyo was a little tiring, what with all the buildings around. I feel like I ran down a couple dozen city blocks. I was just about to summon a portal when I feel a chill run down my spine.

 

There’s a low hum behind me and when I turn around I’m face to face with a younger Xehanort emerging from a dark portal.

 

“All that gallivanting through the sleeping worlds... and you’ve learned nothing.” He smirks and shakes his head.

 

_What?_ A an evil villain lecture here? Why is he bothering to show up now, he could have tried to stop me from saving my friends worlds ago.

 

“Don’t you remember? Dream by dream, you nearly buried yourself in the dark of sleep. And now you’re at it again.”

 

I look at him confused - why bring up my failed Mark of Mastery exam?

 

“That Lich is not like the other heartless you’ve been fighting.” He steadily walks forward, keeping his yellow gaze directed at me. I feel trapped. “That Lich exists to usher hearts down the depths of darkness.”

 

He stops a little more than a foot away. “If you chase it you will condemn your heart to that same abyss.”

 

“You’re wrong!” I shout without thinking. I don’t know what he’s trying to pull but I’m not falling for it, “My heart is strong. It won’t easily fall to darkness.”

 

Young Xehanort gives me a weird look, like a cross between pity and curiosity. “What do you think the Power of Waking is?” He asks in an almost jovial tone.

 

_I… I don’t know._ It’s all too confusing to talk about out loud. I should understand it even with all  my lessons with Master Yen Sid, but I still don’t really get it.

 

He doesn’t wait long for me to answer. I don’t think he wanted me to. “It’s for traversing hearts to reach worlds. Not traversing worlds to reach hearts.” _Thanks for explaining it so clearly…_

 

“There’s a high price to pay for welding such power foolishly.” His smirks twists and his eyes crinkle with his chilling smile. _What’s so foolish about saving my friends?_

 

I shoot him a smirk of my own. “So what? You’re worried about me now?” He closes his eyes and turns around to walk away.

 

“No.” He says in a low mocking tone. “There’s no saving you.”

 

“What are you talking about?” I ask - honestly trying to get an answer.

 

On cue a dark portal appears and slowly engulfs young Xehanort. He opens his arms and smiles as the darkness takes him, “You’ve paid the price. And it lies at the bottom of the abyss.”

 

“Wait!” I yell as I watch him vanish. _What am I doing wrong?_ I know saving Ven was different - he was right there in front of me. But how else am I supposed to save my friends if I can’t get to them to do it? I don’t have the gummi ship - all I have is the power of waking.

 

_Am I just supposed to let them die?_

 

No, of course not, no matter what destiny has in store I won’t just let it decide everything for me. I’ll do whatever I can to challenge it until I’m unable to do anything at all.

 

I materialize my keyblade and open a portal to the abyss. There’s only one place left to check - the Keyblade Graveyard.

 

…

 

The moment I dove back into the darkness I knew I wasn’t alone. I felt the warmth of a friend - a light broke through the inky haze and I saw her.

 

“Kairi!” I move closer reaching out to make sure she’s real. We keep a tight hold on each other’s hands. I didn’t want her to float away, but she seems to be leading _me._

 

I feel so relieved, I never worried about her for a second - she wouldn’t fall to the dark so easy. She’s a princess of light after all, there’s far too much good in her for darkness to overcome. She was able to retain her heart and body because she is pure light.

 

Our friends are waiting for us so we head straight for the graveyard.

…

Somehow we return minutes before everything went south, but things go a little differently this time. We unexpectedly get help from the fallen keyblade wielders who lost their hearts on this very battleground and Master Yen Sid shows up too. He clears a path for us through the heartless straight to Xehanort.

The wretched old man attempts to cut us off from one another by trapping us in a maze. But that doesn’t slow us down. I won’t give him a chance to kill us again.

 

Time feels like it’s moving in fast forward. Everything is happening too fast, it feels like Xehanort singled me out to be alone in the maze. I won’t let a few dead ends keep me from my friends.

 

I follow the sound of Vanitas taunting Ven and find them in an open clearing. Aqua is fending off Terra with all she has and Ven is trying to talk some sense into Vanitas while dodging the others attacks. I back them up and join in on the fight. Terra regains the hold on his mind, overcoming the darkness and setting himself free. Vanitas vanishes, but I don’t think he’s really gone.

 

I left Aqua and Ventus alone so they could have a moment to welcome Terra back. It was really touching to see Terra like that, it reminded me of when Riku regained his likeness during our fight in the Castle that Never Was.

 

_I’m lingering to long._ I look back at them one more time before I make my way back into the maze. In it’s twist and turns I finally found Axel and Kairi. They are facing off against Saix, Xemnas, and a hooded member of the Organization. They look like they have their hands full taking on Xemnas and Saix - it’s an uneven fight with the hooded member striking them when they’re vulnerable.

 

I charge straight for the mystery member and quickly the fight turns a little more intense, as if they were waiting for me. After exchanging a few blows I’m overcome with a feeling of deja vu. It’s almost nauseating. Have we fought before?

 

The hooded figure comes at me hard and the scraping metal sound of our keyblades grinding together hurts my ears. I force myself to jump back and they do the same… exactly the same. I charge at them hold my keyblade low and they mirror my form. We’re moving in sync almost like I’m fighting myself.

 

The nauseous feeling I have grows when I hear the hooded figure gasp and stop mid swing. Confused I follow their line of sight to see Axel on his knees defending Kairi. In an instant the hooded figure abandons me and goes straight for Axel. I thought they were trying to finish him off before Xemnas - but they catch Xemnas’ saber with a single gloved hand.

 

Xemnas shakes his wrist free and raises his saber, “Changing sides again.” He huffs, “Then you kill him.”

 

The hooded figure stands up as if possessed and points their keyblade at Axel. There’s a pause, they hesitate and I don’t think twice before grabbing their keyblade.

 

“You don’t have to do this.” I feel like I’m gasping for air, the nausea is gone but in its place I feel so much pain. Like someone forcibly ripped my heart out. “Please.”

 

They tug away in anger and try to hit me. I deflect it but they press down with all their weight. “It’s okay.” I choke out in a pained cry. Tears threaten to spill from my eyes. “You can stop, Xion!”

 

Like looking in a mirror tears fall from blue eyes, she screams. Dropping her keyblade she grips her head in pain.

 

“Useless puppet.” Xemnas spits before kicking Xion into me. The hood falls from her face and the nausea in my mind and chest begins is swell.

 

I look at Axel his face is twisted in shock and worry. “...Xion!” He lunges forward gripping onto Xemnas’ ankle, anything to stop him for hurting her.

 

_You were you the mystery heart inside me._ Your cry is so familiar and when I look at your face I feel guilt - but I haven’t done anything to hurt you. Have I?

 

I try to recover from this surge of pain racking my nerves, but I can barely move. Xemnas is ready to kill them both. I try to stand on one knee. _You’ve got to be kidding me. Enough._ Another wave of pain shoots through me - it echoes through the emptiness. Like my heart is calling out for help.

_Roxas._

 

My heart beat and something hits the ground like a shooting star. He rocketed out from the sky, returning from the Final World. “Hands off my friends.” Roxas glares daggers at Xemnas through the cloud of dust caused by his arrival.

 

Xemnas look furious, “It’s not possible.” He demands to know how Roxas got here.

 

“All I needed was a connection.” Roxas turns to look at me over his shoulder. “Sora helped me find my way here.”

 

_I did?_

 

Xemnas is scowling, his tone dripping with malice. “I don’t need hearts. I’ll scatter you to the wind!” One minute he’s in front of us the next he’s behind me with Kairi in his grasp.

 

“No!” I scream but Saix blocks my path. Xemnas disappears in a cloud of darkness. Xion and Roxas help me take on Saix until he’s unable to fight any more.

 

Axel is finally reunited with a long lost friend and I hope when his heart returns I’ll get to meet Isa properly, but I can’t stay and celebrate I can’t stand still - _I need to go there’s no time._

 

“Sora.” Axel is suddenly standing in front of me, he’s tired but his expression is gravely serious. “Go find Kairi, we’ll catch up.” I shake off my worried expression all I needed was permission to leave, I turn and run back toward the maze. The moment I round the first stone wall I can hear Xion crying - I wipe away my own stray tears. _No time._ I have to find Kairi.

 

I feel like I haven’t stopped fighting since we came back from the edge of death - the grip on my key blade turns my knuckles white.

 

After cutting through the rest of the Organization Riku, the King and I make it to the top of the cliff where Xehanort is waiting with the rest of his other selves. I don’t see Kairi, but she could be anywhere. We make slow work of the bastards in black. They toy with us - their yellow eyes dancing with triumph even as they fall to their feet in defeat. Tired and angry we watch as the final one crumbles into a pool of darkness and Xehanort is gifted another key.

He’s just missing one more – and there is no one left to fight but him. But we can’t clash or else the x-blade will form.

_If he tries to fight us I’ll make sure the last piece of the x-blade is himself._  

But before we have time to plan our next move– Xehanort raises a creepy hand and gently levitates Kairi forward. My blood runs cold. He dangles her over the edge of the cliff. _Stop!_

I run as fast as I can against the rock wall surface, _I’m not going to make it she’s too far!_

He says nothing, only smiles as he stabs her from behind and I watch as she bursts into a haze of light.

Running through her shattered remains I feel nothing but rage, after that it’s a blur.

 

I swing and feel the stinging metal of Xehanort’s keyblade against my own. He tosses me far off the cliff and I hit the ground hard tumbling like rag doll. He said we needed to be proked.

 

Well he got what he wanted and I want him _dead_.

 

The King and Riku try to hit him, both failing to land a blow. He freezes them in time and forms the x- blade, laughing in triumph as Kingdom Hearts rears it’s unwelcomed face through the clouds. He turns to look at me, I lurch up from my place on the ground, my face stained with tears.

My blood was boiling, he turns his back to admire his handy work. Treating me like I’m not even a threat. I want to meet him in the air - to stab him in the back like he did to Kairi, but my whole body is in shock.

 

Two arms drag me to my feet. Donald and Goofy are holding me up, Goofy gives my arm a squeeze, “Thought ya could use a couple’a more half pints.”  My blood lust is dulled for a moment. Donald smiles up at me, “Typical. You can’t do anything without us, Sora.” _Okay bloodlust is back._ Goofy nudges Donald and we laugh. I needed that - I need a clear head if I’m going to fight him head on.

 

Goofy put a gentle hand on my shoulder. “Now wipe those tears and lets go after Xehanort.” I try my best not to sound defeated. “But he controls Kingdom Hearts now...and Kairi is…” Why can’t I stop crying.

 

“You worried?” I hear Axel say. One by one the others find their way to the cliff side. “Sorry we’re late. Had a couple of points that needed to be ironed out.”

 

Ven and Roxas stand next to side by side. I hold back a laugh. They don’t say a word as they exchange confused glances at each other. Aqua glares at Xehanort’s figure floating in the sky. “Master Xehanort...you bastard.” Terra puts a hand on her shoulder. “He’s done it. He’s open Kingdom Hearts.”

 

“Damn it.” She whispers. Ven looks at her with troubled eyes. “What do we do now?”

 

Mickey and Riku free themselves from Xehanort's time lock attack and join us. “We have one more hope.” Mickey says a little out of breath. “What hope?” Ven asks.

 

“It’s Xehanort.” Riku explains, “During the Mark of Mastery exam, we learn he can transcend space and time. He’s a portal and we can use that knowledge to trap him.” The King nods. And looks up at Aqua.

“Aqua, you’ll come with me and Riku. Together we’ll push Xehanort out of this world.“ She doesn’t hesitate, “Understood.” And they start to walk away from the rest of us practically deciding this all on their own. I walk a little faster and block their path.

 

I throw up my hands, “No, I’ll go.” Mickey sighs, he looks at me and I can’t tell if its pity or fear in his eyes, maybe both. “Mickey, you know I can handle this. You guys should stay here and fend off Kingdom Hearts - it’s a much bigger threat.” I’ve fought every other version of Xehanort except the real thing, how hard could that be?

 

I turn to the others and plead my case. “Let me handle Xehanort while you guys keep Kingdom Hearts shut.”

 

It’s a silent agreement, everyone knows I can handle this. At least I can hold him down while they take care of closing Kingdom Hearts. They all nod, even Riku and Mickey has no choice but to agree. “Okay Sora.”

 

I put on a confident smile, “I got this.” With my keyblade in hand I walk ahead ready to face Xehanort alone. Before I pass him I give Riku a pat on the shoulder. “Hey.” The look he gives me make me shrink back. He gave me the go ahead like everyone else but something in his eyes screams at me to stay. “I’ll be fine. I’ll see you when this is all over, okay?” I give his should a reassuring squeeze.

 

His eyes do that thing where they sparkle and make my heart fuzzy. “Be careful.” He replies so low it’s practically a whisper.

 

“I will.” I release his shoulder and walk on. But I find myself two half pints heavier with Donald and Goofy tagging along. They’ve handled danger like this with me before - only natural for them to follow me into the fray.

I point my keyblade at Xehanort’s back. With deadly determination I open the open with him and we’re thrust into beautiful world about to be destroyed by our battle.

 

I’m not here to play around, I’m sick of this. Xehanort acts like this is all a very amusing game that he’s already won. Well I’m he to carve that victorious smirk off his face.

The world warped around us as our fight grows more intense – more violent.

I want this to end – I wanted him to disappear, for everything to go back the way it was supposed to.

 

After all of his tricks, shifting, and armour I finally break through to the weakened Xehanort and follow his sister presence to the top of the crumbling tower.

 

“It’s over Xehanort!” I scream as he begins to levitate off the top of the tower.

 

“You thought you could contain me here …” He chuckles. “Knowing all that do about connections?”

 

He waves his hands and reveals his trump card - he hadn’t been using it the whole fight - how could I have forgotten about the x-blade?

 

He floats even higher into the air above us, “There is one sky, _one destiny!_ ”

 

We come at him with everything we’ve got but it still isn’t enough - he has the upper hand and decides to summon kingdom hearts hear in this world as well.

 

Still we try and take him down but nothing we do seems to be working.

 

He knocks me down again, and point his blade up at Kingdom Hearts. Using its influence he forces me to use the darkness inside me. I’m blinded by it, consumed by it. And that’s fine. All he’s done force to me to fight without restraint. No moral chains holding me back from tearing him apart.

I kick and scratch and claw at him, wearing us both out. Evidently he snaps his fingers and the darkness leaves my thoughts and I’m thinking clearly again. God I’m in so much pain. I hear donald chanting curaga over and over. I must be in bad shape.

“This ends now!” Xehanort shouts as Kingdom Hearts is consumed by darkness and using the x-blade he aims the whole of its power at me.

 

I defend using the keyblade but I’m sliding back. Donald and Goofy push back with me. Using every ounce of my strength left I deflect the power of Kingdom Hearts back at Xehanort. He’s hit with a blinding blast of energy and plunges to the ground dropping the x-blade.

 

From his place on the ground he struggles to for a thought. “What... How...?”

 

“It’s over! You lost!” I shout a little more aggressively than intended.

 

He smirks and forces himself off the ground, “No, Look…” Kingdom Hearts looks like it's on fire and slowly edging closer. “Your too late.”

I hear Goofy behind me, “Are we gonna...?”

 

Donald frantically replies, “I don’t know!”

 

“What’s going to happen?!” I demand. Xehanort takes a moment to admire the calamity in the sky before replying.

 

“A purge…” His smirk is like a permanent  feature on his face. “The World will be return whence it started.”

 

_What does that mean, can anyone ever just give me a straight answer?_

 

He props himself up on one knee, “The World began in darkness. And from that darkness came light.”

 

Oh great he’s going to preach to me _now_?

 

“From the light came the people, and the people had hearts.” He took a few weak breaths, _it would be so easy to finish him off right here._

 

“Evil grew in those hearts, begetting more darkness. And that darkness spread across the World like a plague.” His breathing has slowed and he looks at the ground and shakes with anger, “The light, the symbol of the World’s hope, was devoured by the shadow. Leaving nothing but ruin…  an utter failure.” There’s a pause before he breaks into an evil grin.

 

“But the first light - the light of kingdom hearts - can give us a new start.” That awful smile. “An empty world. Pure and bright.”

 

“It wasn’t you decision to make.” I sethe through gritted teeth.

 

Xehanort grabs the x-blade and thrusts it into the ground. Using it as a crutch he prys himself up to look down at me, “Then whose was it!” He rips the x blade out of the ground, it looks like he’s ready for another round.

 

I only glare him, no one deserves to make _that_ kind of choice. Doesn’t he get that?

 

“The World needs someone to stand up and lead.” He clenches his fist. “Someone strong, to stop the weak from polluting the World with their endless darkness. Someone to dictate their destiny.”

 

The look he gives me makes my skin crawl, he’s so proud. “You’re not that person Xehanort.”

 

He leans forward looking at me with questioning eyes.

 

“A real leader knows that destiny is beyond his control… and accepts that.” I don’t know if I really believe that, not entirely. I can only accept destiny when there’s nothing left I can do to control it. But if I say that then it sounds like I’m agreeing with him.

 

He narrows his eyes at my answer and smiles. “You … You make me think of an old friend.”

 

_You had friends?_

 

Before I can reply Goofy points up towards Kingdom Hearts. A sudden crack in the sky reveals a portal and from it the lights of my friends emerge. One by one they descend from the sky and land on the roof of the tower with us.

 

“Your Majesty, you made it!” Goofy greets the King. Mickey nods and looks at us with concern - we are visibly wounded and barely standing.

 

“Are you okay?” He asks. I look at Donald and Goofy they have the same resolve in their eyes. We all nod yes and Mickey smiles still a bit worried, but glad we’re still alive. I keep my eyes fixed on Xehanort - he may look tired but I’ve been fooled before. _Mickey, you always come at the very last minute, can’t you see that we have Xehanort cornered?_

 

“Kingdom Hearts is closing on the other side…” Riku steps forward, visibly relieved, “But we managed to follow our hearts to you.” His smile is small and I can tell he’s restraining himself. I want to be happy to see him too and tell him I’m okay, but I can’t.

 

Xehanort is still standing and the World is still going to end. All I’ve done is beat him to inch of his life. I haven’t helped in stopping this, yet.

 

“Master Xehanort… “ I look over and see Terra approach the tired old man. Aqua rushes to stop him, holding him in place by his arm. Terra looks back at her with a thankful gleam in his eyes, and she slowly lets him go.

 

He stands tall as he faces Xehanort.

 

“There's more to light that meets the eye.” Terra laughs to himself, “As I told you.”

 

Xehanort is frozen in shock and for some reason smiles, almost excited in some way, “You sly fox…” His smile is not a malicious or sarcastic, but  genuinely happy.

 

And out from Terra emerages Master Eraqus. _Or his ghost?_

 

I’m beyond confused, I glance at Riku and he looks the same.

 

“Hand over the x-blade Xehanort.”Master Eraqus gently demands with his hand outstretched.

 

The smile vanishes and the old man shouts “It’s too late!”

 

“For us, perhaps...but not for them.” Master Eraqus looks at me I’m nervus in his presence.

 

“NO! I can do this!” Xehanort retorts almost like a whining child.

 

Eraqus puts one hand on the x-blade and the other on Xehanort’s shoulder. “Enough.” His smile is so bright. “Checkmate.”

 

Xehanort is visibly shaken, it take him a moment to come back to reality. I don’t know what came over him but he’s smiling again, almost playful at E.

 

He walks over to me with the x-blade and holds it out for me to take. “Very well done.” I’m speechless as I hold it in my hands

 

As an award for being here and not quite doing much of anything to stop this, Xehanort hands me the x-blade. This thing is prize I get for being put through this hell. He kills my friend in front of my eyes, almost succeeds in genocide, tries several times to personally end my life, and he’s getting off scot free with a slap on the wrist and kiss on the cheek with a little convincing from his dead boyfriend.

 

I don’t care what anyone says when this is over, I’m completely in right for thinking this way.

That’s it. We stand there staring as Eraqus and Xehanort leave for the what I assume is the Final World. Honestly I don’t care. Mickey is the first to speak, “Sora. Close it.” His expression is unreadable but I can tell he’s also unhappy. I give him a curt nod and point the x-blade at the sky to get us all out of here before this world falls apart.

We end up back in the Keyblade Graveyard, the threat of Kingdom Hearts is gone.

 

“It’s over.” Mickey says.

 

God damn it, Mickey. “No it’s not.” I’m not facing any of them, I don’t want them to see me this angry.

 

Riku speaks up, he knows what I mean. “We’ll find Kairi. Let’s head back to Master Yen Sid. We can figure this out.” Yeah right, we’ll just wait for cryptic Yen Sid to give us some vague directions that will take us years to find her. No way.

 

“No…” I turn to face them a fake smile on my lips. “I know what to do.”

 

Mickey looks at me with concern, “Sora…?”

 

I keep smiling, if I can show them how confident I am there’s no way they’ll say no to e going after her. “ When this whole journey began Kairi and Riku were missing from my life.” I don’t look Riku in the eye, he’ll know what’s up and try to stop me. “Everytime I found you guys one of you would slip away. I thought we’d finally be together.” I steal a glance at the rest of them. Axel had Xion and Roxas back. Aqua was finally reunited with Ven and Terra. I’m happy for them, but it’s not fair.

 

“But she’s out there somewhere… alone. I’m going to bring her back.”

 

“We’ll go too!” Donald and Goofy spring forward.

 

I look at them apologetically. “Sorry guys, but I can’t take you with me.” It finally clicks for Mickey, he frantically tries to stop me. “Sora, listen. The Power of Waking isn’t meant for you to go chase hearts around!” He shakes his head and clenches his fist. “Even if you do locate Kairi, you might never come home to us again.”

 

I flash him another fake smile, “But I will come home, we both will.”

 

“Please…” He begs, but his pleas fall on deaf ears. Riku kneels next to Mickey, “Let him go.” I still don’t meet Riku’s gaze, I feel like he can tell how unsure I am. “His heart and his mind are made up.”

 

Mickey gives up, “Okay… Safe journey, Sora.”

 

I give them all one last fake smile before I turn to meet my fate.

 

…

 

She’s there in the dark - glowing bright with no escape.

 

When she see me I know she’s disappointed but I don’t say anything I just give her a smile and bring her back home. I follow the feeling of Riku’s heart and it lead us to Destiny Island. Looks like there’s some kind of party happening on the beach - Namine and Isa are there, too!

 

We end up materializing on the tree we used to sit on when we were younger. She looks over to our friends and waves I follow her gaze and see Riku smile on the shore. He waves back and signals for us to join them. I may look alright but I feel my heart being pulled back into the Unchained Realm.

Before Kairi gets off the tree I grab her hand, I can barely feel it. I don’t want her to know how bad this is so I lie. “Tell them I’ll be back soon. That I’ll find a way home. I promise.”

I look down at the beach – it’s a good sight. This is how it should be. Everyone is together – happy and at peace. I can finally relax knowing all my friends are safe.

I look back at Kairi and smile “I’m gonna be okay.” She shakes her head - a few tears slipping away.

The sunset fades from my sight as I dissolve into the darkness of the Unchained Realm.

…

 

I blink and Kairi’s gone. I blink and I’m alone in the dark.

 

                                                        

It’s funny, the Realm of Darkness at least has a moon or some kind of light source. But this? This is terrifying –it’s like wading in ink. I can’t even tell what direction I’m falling in.

Without warning a strange sensation floods my mind and I’m floating over San Fransokyo. Then sun is setting and I see a smear of red and purple as the two Baymax’s and Hiro soar through the sky.

I blink and I’m back in the dark, flying even faster this time.

Another surge of energy passes through me and I’m underwater, in front of King Triton on his way to the throne room - I instinctively gasp for air but in my current state I don’t need it. The King floats through me as he lets out a tired sigh and I’m in the dark again.

I spend a while longer in the abyss before I find myself standing in front of the poster for Verum Rex. I’m in the toy store, but no one else is here. It looks closed – all the light are shut off, and the emergency exit signs light the store in an erie green and red glow. Yozora really does look like Riku.

The lights go out and I’m on the edge of the dock in Corona. It’s night and the sky is full of stars. I can hear the distant sound of a piano and fiddle. There seems to be a festival going on in the square but I’m to far away to know what it’s for. I try to take a step forward but I don’t move. It’s like I’m stuck in this fixed point in space.

I try again but the stars go out and I’m in the darkness once more.  

This goes on forever – I catch a glimpse of a world and I am thrust back into the Unchained Realm. Sometimes I stay in a world for hours, sometimes seconds. I don’t know how much time has passed, but I don’t think it matters, because I noticed once in Mulan’s world I was seeing an event that should have already happened. I had been taken to the past.

I wasn’t just world hopping, I was time traveling too.  After what seemed like months I started to feel like a star in the sky – always watching but never interacting with what I can see.

I stopped reacting to things because what was the point, I couldn’t touch anything I was invisible, and no one could hear me. I was a ghost filtering through worlds I’d seen and never seen. I didn’t recognize half the places I popped into.

Sunny, dark, rainy, cold, wide open fields, packed city streets – it varied tremendously.

At some point I think I forgot I had arms, I would stand their unfeeling for minutes on end not realizing I could move my limbs.

I wasn’t bored but I did feel dizzy – the pain and scrapes from the fight with Xehanort were still present on my ghostly limbs. I’m surprised I even remembered the pain. It doesn’t last long - just a fading memory of a feeling I no longer have.

I wonder how much time has passed for Kairi and Riku. Did she tell him I would be back soon or has it been years since I disappeared? I feel bad leaving like that. I never got to tell Riku what was on my mind.

I’ve had a lot of time to think it over and I get it now.

I just wanted someone to tell me I did something right. I didn’t want to be a joke.

I just wanted to finally prove myself.

I felt so inferior to Riku and his skill as a master, and no one let me forget how weak I was. Even if I was the one doing all the rescuing it always felt like I was being used.

Like I was a sword people pointed a their problems to fix. I didn’t want to be a tool.

I just wanted someone… someone who cared to tell me I did a good job.

I close my eyes, I let time pass and the worlds shift. I try not to let my thoughts consume me, if they do the darkness might follow their lead.

I hear the wind taking waves ashore, I hear the rustle of leaves, and light footsteps on sand. I could care less about the static noise of a another passing world.

 

I hear giggling, my mind hums,  and open my eyes. I’m on the shore next to the fishing dock. Kairi is there. She’s young, at the age where she’d tease me about always sleeping on the beach. I look to see what she’s laughing at and there I am - sleeping on the end of the dock, not a care in the world.

_Wait I remember this,_ I was just waking up when Kairi came to get me to help her and Riku collect pieces for the raft. As if on cue little Riku shows up on the edge of the beach. He mocks younger me about being lazy. I smile and something in my heart stirs, I wish I could stay here and let this memory replay over and over.

But it can’t, so I savor this sunshine and watch young me stand up on the dock. He jumps in the air and I realize I’m in his way but I can't move. I expect him to just faze through me but the moment we touch he disappears and time in this world halts.

I feel like I just regained a tiny part of myself. There’s a tingling sensation in my hands and I look down and see a little color return to my fingertips.

My eyes widen in giddy realization ,“No way…” _I can be whole again!_ It might take a lot longer this time, but I can be whole again!

I smile wide as the world around me turns to black and I patiently wait to relive another memory.

I saw myself talking to Riku in castle Oblivion.

And then I was running through the streets of traverse town.

I was in China and the Emperor said just described the rude hooded figure as Riku and I’m laughing.

The memories became more frequent – less world touring and more memory hopping.

It’s funny how many of my happiest moments were with or about Riku. We shared quite a few painful memories too, but I wouldn’t forget them for anything in all the worlds.

Riku wasn’t just my friend, he was an anchor keeping me stable, when I’m with him I feel like I can do anything.

Even if it’s just a memory I’m glad I can see him again. Hearing his laugh and seeing him smile is slowly putting me back together.

One more piece and I’ll be whole. I take a deep breath as the scenery brightens. I’m on Destiny Island again.

 

“Come on, I know you want to try it.” I watch Riku toss a paopu at me and I barely catch it. The look on my face is so embarrassing. I can see the blush rise from my cheeks all the way to my ears. I’m as red as the dumb jumpsuit I used to wear.

 

Riku laughs and smugly walks past me. I know he was making fun of my crush on Kairi, but I never noticed how upset he looked. Like he wanted to say more, but then Kairi shows up and we rush to help her with the raft.

 

I reach for the form of my past self and I am rejoined with the missing piece of my heart. I feel complete as I float through the darkness, but at the same time I can feel the Unchained Realm rejecting me. I’m not supposed to be here alive and whole. It pushes and pulls me and flashes of unfamiliar worlds blur my vision. I’m assaulted by my senses coming back to life.

I trip on a tree root and fall onto sand, I try to get up but there is suddenly a rush of cold water and I’m drowning. _Okay so maybe being alive again is a little more dangerous when I don’t have control over where I go._

The water drains and I’m alone.

I gasp for air, it’s dark and for a second I think I’m back in the abyss. But I try taking a step forward and I hear the crunch of gravel on road.

I blink my eyes and they begin to adjust. There are stars glittering in the vast open sky and the sun looks like it’s almost gone or maybe it’s rising?

I take another step and I discover that I’m no longer magically restrained, _I can move freely!_ I carefully place one foot in front of the other, I haven't used my legs in ages. This long stretch of road runs the middle of nowhere. The only thing ahead of me is a light post and more road.

I scramble toward it and lean myself up against it’s cold surface. I’m so tired – I finally have feeling back in my body and it’s like my scrapes and bruises are on fire. I move to sit and use the light post to slide safely to the ground.

I can feel sleep draping over me like a blanket. My body doesn’t want to get up, it barey reacts to the roar of an engine getting closer. I try to keep my eyes open, _where am I?_ The headlight of a car blind me and I squeeze my eyes shut. The car dims its lights and parks next to the light post. I hear voices arguing and doors slamming and some one is kneeling next to me.

 

My grip on the light pole tightens when a gentle gloved hand touch my shoulder.

 

“He looks like shit.” Someone says in a deep voice.

 

The person kneeling next to me hums in agreement. “Good thing we stocked up on curatives before leaving Lestallum.”

 

Another voice tries to sound quiet but ends up being dramatically loud. “His shoes are _huge_.”

 

“ _Prom._ ” Someone scolds. A quiet chuckle betrays their serious tone.

 

I peek through squinted eyes. I make out the silhouettes of four people crowding around me. My shoulder feels dislocated and I feel like I’m going to puke. I close my eyes again, I’m either going to vomit on this strangers shoes or pass out from feeling all the pain in my body return at once.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You in Nomura? My DM's are open.

**Author's Note:**

> There will be more chapters - AO3 isn't giving me the options to say there will be more chapters damn it!!


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